Curiosity Killed the Cat

I have been told that I ask too many questions for as long as I can remember. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t always stated exactly like that, but that was the general vibe.

The first time I can remember this happening was when I was just a baby witch of maybe 3 or 4 in Sunday School.

You see, for most of my childhood my maternal grandmother took me to church - a Southern Baptist church - every Sunday morning and evening, on Wednesdays, and every other time the doors were open or we could open them to do something. Take notes, this will be valuable intel in some future trivia game. 

Back to the story. I was in my Sunday School classroom with Mrs. Pauline or Mrs. Edna -  I can’t remember which because everyone loved to retell the stories of my preconsciousness, shall we say - and we were learning about Adam and Eve.

I was raised on the King James version of the Bible and despite all I’ve learned since, that’s the one I still think of first. The exact verse that did me in was Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

Men and women are very different in shape, which I knew even then and I’d been told Adam and Eve were husband and wife so I asked who was God’s wife.

Obviously he couldn’t be both a boy and a girl and if humans need to have both to be in the image of God there must be a Mrs. God. 

I was told that was an excellent question and when I died I could ask God and he’d tell me the answer. That’s how my religious curiosity was curbed for the remainder of my time in the church - when someone couldn’t answer one of my questions I was told I’d be able to ask God after I died.

If you think about it, it's really just another way of letting me know death was the answer to my curiosity.

Which brings me back to the title of this episode. 

The expression "curiosity killed the cat" comes from an older proverb that originally carried a very different message. 

The phrase "Care killed the cat" first appeared in 1598 in the play Every Man in His Humour by the English playwright Ben Jonson. In this context, "care" referred to worry or sorrow, not curiosity, warning that excessive worry could lead to harm—much like the modern phrase "worrying yourself sick."

This, however, is a coaching topic for another time. 

Over time, "care" was replaced with "curiosity," likely due to cats' reputation for being inquisitive and sometimes reckless. The first recorded use of "curiosity killed the cat" appeared in the early 20th century and quickly caught on.

The shift from "care" to "curiosity" in this proverb reflects broader social changes in the 20th century, a time when fitting in and following the rules was praised and expected.

During this period, especially in the early to mid-20th century, social constructs like education, corporate culture, and even government messaging have often emphasized obedience, stability, and the avoidance of disruption. 

At the same time, the definition of what was considered "normal" narrowed significantly, with rigid expectations about behavior, gender roles, and social  conduct becoming more narrowly defined even as limits were theoretically being challenged. 

Curiosity, by nature, challenges these constraints—it asks questions, seeks new answers, and often disrupts accepted narratives. By framing curiosity as dangerous or undesirable, it is possible to reinforce the idea that stepping outside of conventional boundaries could lead to trouble.

You can see the early conditioning in the home and the school when parents resort to ‘because I said so’ as an answer to the question ‘why’ and teachers and administrators discourage students from asking questions.

As a teacher I saw this happen repeatedly when students (or teachers) questioned the lack of extracurricular clubs available for religious and other minorities, the fairness of dress codes that allowed females to dye their hair some colors but not others, or when they questioned policies that were fundamentally unfair but popular with the majority. 

This shift towards a fictional norm and conditioning to be subservient without question has served to keep people within predictable and controlled boxes  that society deems acceptable, subtly discouraging the kind of independent thinking that could lead to innovation, rebellion, or a reimagining of society as a whole.  

In a world that has often thrived on maintaining order and normalcy, the saying “curiosity killed the cat” has become a tool to discourage exploration and keep the curious in check, ensuring that deviation from the narrowly defined norm was, and is, minimized.

Satisfied Cats  

Interestingly, the full saying often includes a lesser-known counter phrase: "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back." 

This addition flips the script, suggesting that while curiosity may involve risks, the pursuit of knowledge, understanding truth, or personal fulfillment often justifies those dangers. 

It serves as a reminder that the true danger lies not in curiosity itself, but in the suppression of our natural instinct to question, explore, and challenge the familiar.   

When society narrows the definition of what is normal and discourages deviation, it also stifles the creative and rebellious spirit that drives progress. 

The real loss isn't the hypothetical harm that curiosity might cause—it's the missed opportunities for growth, innovation, and the profound satisfaction that comes from discovering something new. 

Rather than fearing curiosity, we should fear the complacency that keeps us from exploring what truly sparks our interest or broadens our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

By reclaiming the value of curiosity, we not only defy restrictive social norms but also embrace the potential for a more authentic and meaningful life.

Curiosity Is Essential for Self Advocacy

Just as society has historically discouraged curiosity, many of us are conditioned to suppress our own questions in an effort to fit in. But curiosity is essential not only for challenging external structures but also for advocating for ourselves.

Asking questions is at the heart of understanding ourselves and the world around us, and it’s a crucial step in breaking free from the societal masks we’re often told to wear. 

For neurodivergent individuals, women (and men) in a patriarchal society, and anyone feeling constrained by the rigid expectations of the modern world, asking the right questions is an act of rebellion and self-empowerment. 

Questioning everything and consistently searching for the truth through your own lived experience of the world around you isn’t insubordinate or a waste of time, it can quite literally be the difference between life and death. 

It’s not just about seeking answers; it’s about challenging the narratives that have been handed to us and refusing to accept them without scrutiny.

In my work, I guide people to embrace curiosity as a tool for unmasking—uncovering the layers of societal conditioning, internalized beliefs, and external pressures that keep us from living authentically. 

By asking questions, we start to unravel the false narratives about who we should be, allowing us to see ourselves as we truly are. Whether it's through astrology, coaching, or self-reflection, the process of inquiry becomes a pathway to reclaiming personal authority.

For those who often find themselves navigating spaces they don’t fully understand or which don’t validate their lived experiences, asking questions isn’t just important—it’s essential. 

It’s the key to redefining what success, happiness, health, and fulfillment look like on your terms, not someone else’s. 

Each question you ask chips away at the invisible walls that confine you, helping you build a life that’s not about fitting in but about standing in your own authority. 

Curiosity isn't just a practice; it's a radical strategy for self-discovery, empowerment, and living unapologetically true to yourself.

So, in a world that often tells you to accept things as they are, lead with curiosity, ask the questions that matter, and refuse to settle for anything less than the truth.

Curiosity Is Essential for Engaging with Others

Curiosity doesn’t just help you understand yourself better—it’s also a powerful tool for connecting with others in more meaningful and authentic ways. 

In a world where assumptions, biases, and surface-level interactions often dominate our social landscapes, approaching conversations with genuine curiosity allows you to see beyond the masks that others wear. It creates space for empathy, deeper understanding, and the kind of connections that transcend societal expectations.

For those who feel out of sync with conventional expectations, interacting with others can often feel like navigating a minefield filled with unspoken rules and silent judgments.

But when you lead with curiosity, you shift the focus from adhering to those rules to truly understanding the perspectives and experiences of those around you. 

Instead of seeing differences as barriers, you begin to view them as opportunities to learn, grow, and expand your worldview.

Asking questions—whether in personal relationships, professional settings, or broader community interactions—allows you to move beyond preconceived notions and engage with others on a deeper level. 

It’s not just about seeking answers but about showing that you value the complexity and uniqueness of each person’s story. 

This kind of curiosity-driven engagement breaks down walls, creates genuine dialogue, and encourages others to also approach interactions with openness and authenticity.

When you engage with curiosity, you model a different way of being—one that challenges the superficial norms of communication and invites others to do the same. 

It’s an act of radical acceptance, not just of yourself but of others, making it possible to build relationships based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared humanity. 

We are often encouraged to judge quickly and conform easily. When you lead with curiosity you can transform the way you connect with those around you, creating richer, more meaningful interactions that reflect the truth of who you—and they—really are.

Curiosity in Action: Questions to Empower

Curiosity is not just a concept; it’s a practice that you can actively engage with every day. It starts with asking the right questions—ones that challenge the narratives around you and help you connect more deeply with yourself and others. 

Whether you’re navigating personal growth, redefining success on your own terms, or trying to better understand those around you, the questions you ask can be powerful tools of transformation.

To begin, ask yourself questions that invite self-awareness and reflection: 

• Is that true?
• Why do I want this?
• What about this really upsets me?
• What am I making this mean?

When engaging with others, lead with questions that open up conversation and facilitate understanding: 

• Will you tell me more?
• How do you define that for yourself?
• When you said that, what did you mean?

These types of questions not only deepen your connections but also create space for others to feel seen, heard, and valued.

In your daily life, don’t shy away from questioning the structures and systems around you: 

• Where can I get a second opinion?
• Where are the facts to support that claim?
• What if the other side has a valid reason for believing xyz?
• Why do I need them to agree with me?

This mindset can transform the ordinary into opportunities for insight and growth.

The power of curiosity lies in its ability to disrupt the ordinary, challenge complacency, and inspire change. By making a habit of asking questions, you engage with the world in a way that is thoughtful, intentional, and deeply aligned with your true self. 

Start small, stay curious, and see how each question brings you closer to deeper self-awareness and understanding others better.

If you’d like help developing your curiosity, I’d love for you to join us in The Crusade, my membership program where we get curious about astrology and our thoughts.

So tell me... 

When was the last time you stopped to question your own thoughts? Or got curious about how your beliefs shape your life? When was the last time an argument could have been avoided if you’d asked a question?

Spend time with these questions and see what comes up. If you’re feeling frisky, hit me up on Instagram and share your answers with me.

Until next time, my wish for you is an inquisitive mind.