Embracing the Solstice: Unraveling the Myth of Moderation 

Solstice isn’t about balance, and that’s one of the reasons I love it.

During the Summer Solstice, we have the longest day of the year. It's a time when the sun seems to pause in its journey, turning up the heat on one hemisphere. As the days go by, we lose a little bit of daylight until we reach the Winter Solstice. On this day, we experience the longest night of the year. Gradually, each subsequent night becomes slightly shorter.

This natural rhythm is a powerful reminder that nature itself doesn’t always conform to the notion of balance. That makes me wonder if moderation, as we know it, is an ideal that may not be as universal as we are sometimes led to believe.

When I say moderation, what I’m talking about is the belief that there is a "middle ground" or "norm" that we should all strive to maintain in various areas of our lives. It’s the idea that excess or deficiency in any form is undesirable. But is that true?

There are societal pressures that often make us believe there's a one-size-fits-all version of normal. This mythical ‘normal’ is like a constricting box that tries to standardize our experiences and emotions. It tells us that there's a correct amount of happiness, sadness, work, play, and so on. It's as if our lives should be a series of neat, evenly proportioned servings we can dish out from the life experiences buffet.

But nature shows us something different. Just like the ever-changing lengths of days and nights as we move towards the next solstice, our lives are meant to have ebbs and flows.

Consider the concept of a balanced life. It’s often spoken about as if it's a perfect 50/50 split between the good and the bad, or a finely tuned work/life equilibrium. However, this “balance” is not a constant. It can be a weekly or yearly average, but some years, days, or even moments are inherently unbalanced - and that’s not only okay, it’s natural and sometimes necessary.

By recognizing that the forces of nature, and our lives, are not always going to be neatly balanced or moderate, we can release ourselves from the confinements of 'normal' and embrace all of the experiences that life has to offer.

When Moderation Isn't The Answer

Let’s look at some practical examples of when moderation isn't appropriate or desirable, and how the ebb and flow approach could be more beneficial.

Creative Endeavors 

Artists, writers, and other creatives often experience bursts of inspiration where they work passionately for extended periods. Sometimes this is called a flow state and many people actively seek it out. Moderation would stifle this creative flow. Instead, embracing these intense periods of creativity when they arise can lead to breakthroughs and fulfilling work.

Falling in Love 

When you fall in love, it’s intense, intoxicating and often overwhelming. Can you imagine moderating falling in love? Would you even want to? Sometimes, it’s essential to dive in the deep end and experience the full spectrum of emotions that new love brings. Later, as the relationship evolves, different forms of balance can be introduced - maybe. 

Starting a New Business or Project

Entrepreneurs often have to put in an immense amount of work, especially in the early stages of a start-up. Moderation in effort could mean the difference between success and failure. There will be a time for scaling back and finding balance, but in the initial stages, during a launch, or any number of other situations, an all-in approach is often necessary.

Learning a New Skill

When you're passionate about learning something new, moderation could slow down your progress. Immersion, which is the opposite of moderation, is a proven technique to learn new languages or skills effectively. For my hyperfocus people out there, I’m not saying forgo sleep and food to learn everything about a new area of interest all at once and at the expense of sleeping, eating, etc. 

Dealing with Grief

Grief is a powerful emotion, and attempting to moderate it can be both impractical and harmful. Sometimes it’s essential to let the waves of sadness wash over you. Over time, these waves usually become less intense, but telling someone to moderate their grief is like to telling the ocean to calm its storms.

Advocacy 

Sometimes, in order to enact change or fight for a cause, moderation is not effective. A more passionate, persistent, and sometimes intense approach is needed to make your voice heard and gather the support necessary for meaningful change.

Thinking about these examples, it becomes clear that life calls for varying degrees of involvement, emotion, and energy. Moderation has its place, but just like the solstices, there are times when the intensity and concentration in one area are not only natural but also necessary.

The Solstice Within: An Exercise in Self-Reflection

Now that we've explored the ever-changing nature of the solstices and how they reflect the variations in our own lives, it’s time for a homework assignment - as long as you aren’t driving!

Imagine yourself standing at the edge of a beach during the Summer Solstice. Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin and the gentle rhythm of the waves moving over your feet. Now, fast forward to the Winter Solstice, standing in the same spot, this time wrapped in a cozy jacket as the crisp air brushes against your face. Can you feel the difference between the two?

Our lives are filled with these contrasts and variations, just like the seasons. 

Take out a piece of paper or open the notes app on your phone. I want you to write down three aspects of your life where you feel pressure to maintain balance or conform to some kind of societal “normal”. It could be anything from work-life balance, emotional expression, or maybe even your hobbies.

Got them? Great! Now, next to each aspect, write down what it would look like if, instead of striving for a mythical balance, you embraced the natural ebbs and flows. For example, instead of aiming for a strict work-life balance, what if some days you indulged in your passion for your job, and on others, you took time to completely unwind with family or friends?

Now, here’s a challenge for you. Over the next week, try to implement at least one of these more flexible approaches to balance in your life. Be mindful of how it makes you feel. Does it liberate you? Does it make you more content or at peace?

Or… does it feel impossible? While it is important to recognize these ebbs and flows, if you’re stuck in Summer Solstice with the heat turned all the way up on one area of life and you can’t imagine when you’ll have time for any of the others on your list, that’s an entirely different problem.

Summer Solstice Syndrome: Breaking Free from Stagnation

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a metaphorical Summer Solstice? Maybe one area of your life is so intensely highlighted that you can't seem to turn your attention elsewhere. Or you feel like you're relentlessly radiating energy in one direction, with no Winter Solstice, or rest, in sight.

Maybe you're putting all your energy into your career, forgetting what it feels like to unwind. Or you’re so intent on maintaining your physical health that you've lost sight of your emotional well-being. This 'Summer Solstice Syndrome' can feel like you're stuck in an endless day, the heat cranked all the way up, and no sign of twilight.

But remember, the summer solstice is followed by days that gradually grow shorter. It's a reminder that change is inevitable, and it's okay to shift focus. It's alright to redirect some of your energy towards the neglected parts of your life.

The challenge lies in recognizing that you're stuck. The first step towards making a change is awareness. So, ask yourself, are you locked in a perpetual summer solstice? Is there an aspect of your life that overshadows all else, leaving other areas starved for your attention?

If you're nodding along, it's time to start taking small steps to rebalance your life, not in the strict, moderate everything way society often prescribes, but more organically, following your life's unique rhythm.

It might be as simple as dedicating an hour each day to a hobby you've forgotten, connecting with a friend, a weekly (or monthly!) date night with your beloved, or even taking a quiet moment for yourself to simply breathe.

And as you move forward, remember that it's alright if the scales don't immediately balance out. Life, like the changing lengths of days and nights, is not about strict equality of experiences, but about a wild kaleidoscope of moments that all come together to create your one beautiful life.

Addressing the Balance: When Moderation Seems Feasible 

Before I wrap this up, it’s important to recognize that not everyone will agree that moderation is a myth. There are valid arguments for moderation and balance in life, sort of.

First, there's the argument that moderation can lead to a more sustainable lifestyle. It's the classic tale of the tortoise and the hare; by pacing ourselves and not overextending in any one area, we can maintain a steady course and avoid burnout.

Additionally, some might argue that moderation is essential for physical and mental health. Consuming a balanced diet, maintaining a steady exercise routine, and even moderating our emotional highs and lows can contribute to overall well-being.

Finally, there's an argument for moderation as a way of preserving relationships and community. Being too engrossed in work, for example, could strain family ties, whereas an overemphasis on whatever hedonistic activity you want to use as an example could negatively affect productivity and one’s ability to effectively contribute to society.

All of these are legitimate arguments. So, where does the solstice come in, and why do I still believe it challenges the concept of moderation?

I’m happy you asked.

The solstice, as we’ve discussed, symbolizes the ebb and flow of nature. The Summer Solstice doesn’t last forever, and neither does the Winter Solstice. This is a reminder that, while moderation might work as a general guideline, life doesn't always conform to a middle ground. 

Sustainability can be achieved not just by rigid moderation but by embracing the natural cycles of our lives. There are seasons for intense effort and seasons for rest. Understanding and embracing these rhythms can be just as sustainable, if not more, than attempting to maintain a constant moderate pace. 

As for physical and mental health, while moderation in diet and exercise is crucial, what about passion, creativity, and emotional expression? Sometimes our mental and emotional health benefits from the intensity of experience that comes with the highs and lows.

Regarding relationships and community, it's true that a lack of balance can strain ties. However, relationships can also be enriched through shared intense experiences and periods of deep connection that don’t necessarily fit within the bounds of moderation. There’s also that old saying that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

In essence, the solstice teaches us that life isn’t static. It's an ever-turning wheel of experiences. While moderation can serve as a guideline, it’s not the only path to a fulfilling life. The solstice encourages us to embrace the natural fluctuations in our journeys and find our own unique balance within the cycles of life.

I'd love to hear your Solstice experiences, thoughts, and insights. Send me an email at robin @ wickedveracity(.)com with the subject line 'Solstice' and I’ll share some of your stories at the next Solstice (or maybe before!) and on Instagram. If you want to be the first to see what others have to say be sure to follow me on Instagram where I am wicked.veracity :) 

If you’d like coaching on anything that came up for you as you thought about moderation in your life, I’d love to coach you on it during one of the weekly group coaching sessions within the Crusade. The Crusade is my monthly membership program that weaves astrology and life coaching together to help you live your most audacious and authentic life. You can learn all about it at www.wickedveracity.com/crusade.

Until next time, my wish for you is the joy that comes from embracing your own type of moderation.