It’s Going to Be an Awkward Talk

I love you, I don’t say it enough. I love who you are, who you’ve become.

How did that feel? How often do you say some version of those words to the people in your life?

How often do you say them to yourself?

Saying them to yourself is the whole point of the song. Yes, being in my brain is like being in a Broadway musical and this podcast is just an extension of my brain. 

The song the line at the beginning was from is ‘Love Myself’ by Andy Grammer and the first time I heard it I thought it was a musical version of everything I love about Stoic philosophy and coaching.

Awful Thoughts

There’s one part of the song where he’s says 

I can be mean in my mind

Beat myself up all the time with awful thoughts

I can eat myself alive

And I think that’s the most accurate description I’ve ever heard of an unmanaged mind. How often do you tell yourself you’re fat, stupid, lazy, boring, bad, unloved, broken, or some other horrible thing? 

So many times I’ll notice all of the mean things my brain is saying and be a little horrified. Fortunately, now I have a better framework for understanding that thoughts are not facts. 

They’re just there running on whatever programming came installed with this body or that got installed in a life experience update.

They aren’t real and I don’t have to listen to them and I can totally decide to rewrite the files that produce those thoughts or hit delete when my brain gets buggy and offers them up again. 

I Cannot Hear It

There’s another line where he says he can’t hear it unless it comes from someone else and that’s another great description of how brains work.

Most people are looking for some form of external validation to prove to themselves that they are lovable, worthy, or good enough. 

Examples of this are thinking thoughts that begin with I’ll be happy when…

Or if I only had xyz then I’d be satisfied, successful, loved, or whatever.

Finally Feel It

The thing is, the only way you can ever really feel loved, lovable, worthy, good enough, or anything else is when you decide to believe it for yourself. 

It’s just a thought that’s keeping me, you, and everyone else from feeling any of those things because the truth is we are all loved, lovable, worthy, and good enough.

Not because someone else says so or because of something we’ve done but because we exist. 

There is so much love in this world. Just think about how much you love the various people in your life. Not all of the random peripheral people but your people. Your person. 

Think about that love, the way it feels, the way you express it, the way you talk to them, the way you listen to them, the way you support your person. 

Now do it all for yourself.

Go on, off to the mirror and give it a try.

Yes, it’s going to be an awkward talk. 

Yes, it’s going to take practice. Probably a lot of practice. Think of it as brain exercise. Your body needs to be trained regularly if you want it to do something different and so does your brain.

But when you finally love yourself the way you love other people then everything changes.  

Everything becomes possible. 

Until next time, my wish for you is love.