I love flowers. Not just the in the ground kind, although they’re nice too, but the in a vase kind. I LOVE them. They delight me. But I was always told that there was no point because they just die.

One of my favorite takeaways from the classes I took in Feng Shui with Amanda Gibby Peters is that you should bring fresh flowers into your home every week. More if you like and to as many rooms as you want but the baseline is once a week. It brings more energy into your house and she actually has a great podcast and Instagram account where you can learn all of the cool magical benefits of having fresh flowers in your home.

But she gets the same pushback I always did from the people in my life when I’d say I would love to be gifted flowers or when I bought them for myself.

What’s the Point?

What’s the point when they just die?

What I want to offer is that people also die and we generally don’t consider that a solid reason not to have any of them in our lives. 

I said this during an impromptu coaching session recently and the person I was speaking to burst out in ohmygosh I can’t believe she just said that out loud laughter. I tend to have that effect on people 

Longer Isn’t Better

If you truly believe something is less valuable because it will only be in your life for a short period then you also have the belief that something is more valuable because it lasts longer. 

This type of thinking will absolutely get you stuck in situations, patterns, relationships, and ways of being that you don’t really enjoy or want. 

What if instead of thinking how sad it is when the flowers begin to wilt you only thought about how stunning they were while they were in full bloom filling your life with more color, energy, and aroma. 

What if you thought about literally everything in your life as being the same as a fresh arrangement of flowers. Something to be noticed and enjoyed while it was with you instead of lamenting the loss before it even happens. 

The Beauty of Being Finite 

I have kind of an unusual perspective. I learned at a very young age that people could disappear from your life in the blink of an eye. I never really expect anyone to talk to me, see me, or remember me after the moment we are in is over. I have very few expectations of people in general even those who are my friends, or those with whom I have a less than platonic relationship. Not because I think they’re bad or malicious or that they will hurt me, I just see them the same as flowers. They are beautiful and captivating and I don’t expect them to be around forever. 

I wasn’t trying to be funny when I compared flowers to people. That’s an example of me being neurodivergent more than anything else. 

This podcast got written over the course of a few days as I tried to work out in my brain why it was shocking to someone else. Once I realized it was simply a different way of looking at the world I knew I needed to tell you. 

Yes, you my darling. 

You’re a Wildflower

You don’t know it but I love you the same way I love the wildflowers on the side of the road, the first pink buds of the Japanese magnolias, the flowers in the produce section of grocery stores, and surprise bouquets I have delivered to myself. 

And I know that there have been people in your life who didn’t want to risk being hurt by the loss of you so they never took a chance on enjoying all of the beauty and wonder the moments together could’ve held. 

But I also know that there have been people, jobs, conversations, emotions, relationships, dreams, and so much more that you’ve avoided because you didn’t want to experience the loss when they were gone. 

If you’re always worried about the ending, you’ll never take a leap and begin. And I don’t want that for you or anyone else. I want you to have all the flowers all of the time and in all of the rooms. 

I want you to be willing to feel the pain of the loss in order to experience the joy of tossing flowers in the air like confetti on New Year’s Eve. 

Go All In

That doesn’t mean it’s easy, because it’s not. It’s not easy to go all in when you know the pain that’s waiting on the other side. 

When I bring fresh flowers into my home I know I’ll have to get vases out, figure out how to use the little flower food packets, cut the stems, clean them all up, refresh the water daily, and throw them into the forest when they begin to die. That’s so much freaking work just to have little pieces of natural art near me for a few days. And there are lots of times my brain tells me it’s not worth the effort or hassle. 

And my brain says the same thing about people and peopling things even more frequently. I for sure don’t have a strong desire to risk my emotional stability for some unknown person or experience. 

But I do have the belief that even if it all ends the moment after it begins that as long as I was fully present in that moment and took in all of the joy the flower or person or experience had to offer - then it was totally worth the price. 

So yes, cut flowers die but so do those that stay on the stem. That’s not a reason to deny yourself the pleasure of their presence. 

Be Honest

If you don’t want the flowers, the person, or the experience just say that. The only reason you ever need to say no to something is because you don’t wanna. You can dislike flowers for any reason and refuse them or you can love them and refuse them. 

What I want for you is simply the honesty within yourself to know why.  

If you don’t want them because you’re afraid of losing them (or anything else), is that really a reason you love?

Until next time, my wish for you is an abundance of flowers, beauty, pleasure, and joy in your life.

Podcast Theme Music

License:  Rustic Ballad by Alexander Nakarada